Swim the Door 15


Did you go? Did you swim? Did you survive?

STD 15 took place over the weekend of 6th and 7th June.

Huge thanks to everyone who attended especially those who swam.

(Also huge thanks to everyone who gave me cards and presents, especially if I forgot to thank you)


 Who attended?

Here’s the STD (Sunday) group photo.


Roll of honour

Aja (STD), Andrew (first attendance for a while and partner of STD swimmer), Chloe (attendee and previous winner of artwork award), Chris (attendee for first time in 10 years and partner of STD choppy Saturday swim), Chris (attendee and non STD swimmer), Di (first STD for a while and not in a wet suit, welcome back), Cole (first attendance and, like his mother, was heard to promise to swim it next year), Digger (STD), Ella (first attendance for a while, welcome back, and best fossil finder), Emily (STD and winner of 3rd STD in row by person under 11), Graham (STD and regular winner of the casual swim award),  Helen (STD veteran and regular winner of “wetsuit are for wimps” award),  Jo (first attendance in a while and  supplier of “The ultimate STD fire-water”),  Jono (STD, social secretary, facebook co-ordinator and entered for the “most improved” swimmer award), Jonney C (STD veteran, attendee at early bird Friday and choppy Saturday swim, but now wears a wet suit even though it “gets warmer every year”!), Julia (STD veteran and mother of STD child), Liz (first attendance but I’m sure she promised to “swim it next year”!),  Lorna (attendee and regular winner of  “I’m lost, is Dorset in South London?” award), Louise (not far off being a STD veteran and best supplier of 50 year old spectacles), Luke (a regular attendee since before he was born, but no official STD although his mother claims “he did it when he was minus 6 months”- legal case pending), Mark P (no STD but manned the rescue canoe all of Sunday- hero!), Mark (STD and of the famed 2009 helicopter incident which we promised not to mention again -oops!!),  Megan (first attendance in a while and winner of the best birthday card- children’s- award), Richard (a regular attendee who I understand is still looking forward to his first STD), Ron (first STD for a while, welcome back),  Russell (STD veteran although his misses now forces him to wear wetsuit- sounds a bit dodgy), Rog (STD veteran in all but name and travelled by boat and foot to attend), Sandra (STD veteran, mother of STD child and CPK co-coordinator),  Sandra (first STD for 10 years, non wet suit and during choppy Saturday swim, respect!), Syann (first attendance in a while, welcome back, and partner of a STD veteran), Uncle Bulgaria (first attendance and STD), Ursula (1st STD that we know of and on choppy Saturday and not in wet suit, but we don’t actually know her real name- this is what Jono called her as he photographed her coming out of the sea “thinking she was Sandra my lord”), Zoe (STD veteran and mother of STD child veteran, did you know she ran the London Marathon this year?!!).


Attendees who didn’t quite make it to the beach this year:

Lorna, Mike, Ciorstaidh, Esme, Alec, Nan and Dave.

Who all promised to make it down next year and do the swim (even if it meant learning to swim). Well I think that’s what they said!!!



This year some people reached a significant age, but for confidentially reasons they will remain anonymous:

So, someone was 50, but who?


Oh, I’m still not quite sure who it is.


Many people were heard to say “I can’t believe Digger is (only) 50”!! (Huge thanks for specialist “age” glasses that were provided by Louise).


“Wild” Thursday night

STD15 Wild Friday night (Jono-Bar man)
I know you are wondering how wild Diggers bday weekend would be- well here is the answer. Two elderly gentleman at the (Doom) bar and the only other person in the bar trying a photo bomb in the background. Why not join us next year?


“Calm” Friday swim

STD15 Friday swim
For both the Thursday and Friday swims conditions were “calm” which was a shame as the numbers of swimmers were low


Only the highly select group did the swim (Jono, Jonney C and Digger)


“Choppy” Saturdays swim

STD15 Choppy Saturday (Jono)
Respect to Sandra, Jonney C and Ursula who made it. Respect to Aya and Chris for (eventually) agreeing to abort.


Sundays “group” swim

STD15 General shot (Graham)
Photo by Graham


Some of the Sunday swimmers (others had left or had not made it down to the beach yet- think well oiled machine!!)


Swim the Door is a well-choreographed operation- here you can see some of the swimmers entering the water in the perfect V-shaped formation. Errh except there are already three swimmers visible as blobs in the distance and several still getting ready!!


STD15 Misty (by Mark)
The swim is underway (photo by Mark P who captured the “misty and romantic” nature of the swim beautifully with this shot). Emily is the only person I know who can smile, swim and talk at the same time!!


STD15 Threesome (by Mark)
OK. I can see three of you but where are the others? (photo by Mark P)


STD15 Under door (by Mark)
Pwwh. Here comes everyone (photo by Mark P)


Ron, Zoe and Helen in calm, but not entirely flat, conditions.


Sunny (but busy) Sunday


 Sunny Monday

Perfect…………. (except its so flat its a bit boring so time to head home!!)





Being a product of the comprehensive education system I wholeheartedly disagree with the concept of a competitive STD………..so here are this years:


Person/s who have travelled the furthest

  • Rog (Holland)
  • Louise/Richard (Lytham St Anne’s). Not sure which is furthest


Person/s who have travelled the furthest not in a petrol/diesel car

  • Rog (boat). Judicial enquiry launched as it had been assumed he came from Holland in it but “rumours” suggest it was harboured much nearer
  • Zoe/Mark (electric car). Rumours are that they only had to stop five times on route.


Person/s who have travelled the furthest by means other than car

  • Rog (boat). Hang on how come he is winning so many awards?


Family that has a 100% attendance record

  • Sandra, Graham and Emily Cooling/Armfield
The Cooling/Armfields. Hot when it comes to STD
  • Julia, Russell, Chloe and Luke


Person/s who have a 100% swim record when they attend

  • Aja, Di, Digger, Emily, Graham, Helen,  Jono, Jonney C, Julia, Louise, Mark, Ron, Russell,  Rog, Sandra B,  Sandra C,  Uncle Bulgaria, Ursula,  Zoe


Person/s who have a 100% (non wet-suit) swim record when they attend

  • Aja, Di, Digger, Helen,  Jelly Fish, Mark, Sandra B,  Uncle Bulgaria, Ursula


Person/s who have a 100% non-swim record

  • Richard
  • Lorna
  • Syann
  • Luke


Person/s who have run London Marathon and Swam The Door in same year

  • Zoe
Digger witnessed both events. BBC news- how did you miss this one!!


Person/s who Swam the Door with a London Marathon medal

  • Zoe. Hang on, how come she is winning so many awards?
STD Zoe and medal (by Mark)
Oh yes she did! (photo by (other) Mark not Mark in the photo- although I can’t quite see his right arm so maybe its a selfie?)


Person/s who have photographic proof of a 100% attendance record from 1997

  • Digger. Well I had to win something!


Person/s who “oh so wanted to come but couldn’t” so did a virtual Swim The Door

  • Hebe (2 x kitchen door in Brighton STD)

STD15 Virtual Hebe

  • Esther (1 x kitchen door in Brighton STD abort)


  • Alice (1 x kitchen door in Brighton STD)

STD15 Virtual Alice

(This will make no sense unless you watch the video on facebook page)



First Womble to STD

  • Great Uncle Bulgaria
STD15 Gt Uncle B (by Mark) B
Where? All I can see is that damm women holding a medal….. (photo by Mark P)


Oldest person to STD

  • Great Uncle Bulgaria (between three hundred and eternity).
STD15 Gt Uncle B (by Mark) closeup
OK. Not sure if that is the real Great Uncle Bulgaria as this one looks only 50 (photo by Mark P)


Best Ursula Andress impression

  • Sandra Bloxham. Apparently Jono has a more close-up photograph……..
STD15 Ursula (Jono)
Every year we like to meet a mystery person and this year is was Ursula. Of course, we don’t know that’s her real name.


Best Daniel Craig impression

  • Digger. Close-up photograph unsuitable for children.
STD15 Daniel Craig 2 (Jono)
Shadow nicely hiding his six pack (or is that beer belly?)


STD15 Daniel Craig (Jono)
Members of the Daniel Craig fan club meet their idol on a Dorset Beach. One breaks into tears as is overwhelmed by the excitement (or was that disappointment!)


Best rescue craft operator

  • Mark Phillips. No competition

STD13-Mark (boat)

Person/s who attend every 10 years

  • Chris and Sandra. Don’t leave it so long next time.


Person/s who brought the “best inflatable animal”

  • Emily and Chloe
STD15 Inflatables (by Mark)
Need I say more (photo by Mark P)


Person/s who sent the “worst inflatable animal”

  • Horonicus. Apparently a much loved friend of Neil but after attempts by three different people was un-inflated so unable to do the swim
Horonicus West


Person/s who has brought fire water most years

  • Zoe
STD15 (not) Fire-water (Jono)
And after this we drink it…………….


Person/s who brought “The ultimate STD fire-water (2015)”

  • Jo
STD15- firewater
Please can you bring it every year?! And please can more people drink it next time!!


Person/s who can eat most chips

  • Digger
STD Chips (Zoe)
No competition.


Person/s how regularly “miss out” on being in the group photo

  • Louise
  • Richard

Person/s with the strangest leg action

  • Jono
Far Right (although we use to hope he was only centre right!)




In their keenness to escape doing another swim some people have left items which I am now caring for:

Digger would have liked to have kept this “trendy” t-shirt but was unable to get it over his tummy


Digger has decided to keep these items. Hick, hick………..




A secret STD (!)

Chut, ne le dites à personne, mais certains d’entre nous envisagent une autre Swim la porte vers le 23 Août 2016 au célèbre Pont d’Arc (une arche rocheuse naturelle sous lequel coule l’Ardèche), France.





(Sssh, don’t tell anyone but some of us are planning another Swim the Door around 23rd August 2016 at the famous Pont d’Arc (a natural rock arch under which the Ardeche flows), France. )