Swim the Door 16


They think its all over, its is now….

Swim the Door (England) took place over the weekend of 10-12th June 2016.

Who was there?

Attendees of the Saturday group swim

(Photo by Heidi)


Attendees at the Friday group swim

Durdle Door Pyar ki video 3a
Look what you missed if you weren’t around on Friday!

(If you were in any doubt that this website doesn’t always give you accurate information this is actually a screen dump from the video of an excellent song of from the forthcoming bollywood movie HOUSEFULL 3, “Pyar Ki”, possibly performed by Shaarib & Toshi. Look it up on YouTube its great).


Next year we will be recreating some of the scenes- I’ve ordered my knee replacements and water balloons already.


the Saturday swim

THE START- Everyone “rushes” into the water full of excitement for the swim


THE START- Five minutes later and no-one has got very far!


STD16 Sych by beach (IMG_1552) map
STARTED- Jono, Graham, Neil? and Helen committed to the swim ie out of their depth so no choice now!


WELL ON WAY- The main swimmers are well on their way now, errh, except Julia who is getting people to be allowed to look after their/her children


STD16 Turn left (DSCF6122) map
BEYOND THE DOOR- Its lucky we have done this before so we could tell these “keenies” that they need to turn left and go through The Door (the clue is in the name)


UNDER THE DOOR- That’s it, now head for the beach but ……..
STD16 Under the door (IMG_1565) map
UNDER THE DOOR- Time for a group hug?


STD16 Under the door (IMG_1566) map
UNDER THE DOOR- Group photo (its the law).


ON WAY BACK- Nearly there


BACK- so how many have we lost this year?


the Sunday Swim

STD16 McDigger and Door HW
The Sunday swim was less well attended (in the water), but thank goodness for………


STD16 Sunday four HW
Christiane, Jonny, Mark and Digger. Respect!



Roll of honour

Caroline (a STD virgin until this year, Sat STD x 1), Chloe (child of STD veterans, regular attendee and previous winner of artwork award, Sat STD x 1), Christiane (returned after several years absence to claim her STD veteran status, Sat and Sun STD x many), Digger (Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun & Mon STD x many), Emily (a STD child veteran who has attended every year of her life and  winner of artwork award, Sat STD x 1), Graham (STD and regular winner of the casual swim award, Sat STD x 1),  Heidi (first attendance for several years and promised to swim it next year- well that’s what I heard! Sat STDIC x many), Helen (STD veteran and regular winner of “wetsuit are for wimps” award, Sat STD x 3),  Jono (STD social secretary and facebook co-ordinator, Sat STD x 2), Jonney C (STD veteran and attendee of the early bird Thursday swim if only he could have found Digger, Sat STD x 2, Sun STD x 1), Julia (STD veteran and mother of STD child, Sat STD x 1 non-wet suit), Julian (argued by some, well Teresa, to be a STD veteran. Legal case pending, Sat STD x multiple but un-supervised), Louise (STD veteran and bride to be, Sat STD x 2?), Luke (a regular attendee since before he was born, but no official STD although his mother claims “he did it when he was minus 6 months”- legal case pending), Mark P (no STD but manned the rescue/photography canoe- hero!), Mark (STD and of the famed 2009 helicopter incident which we promised not to mention again -oops!! Fri, Sat, Sun & Mon STD x multiple),  Neil (did he really attend? did he really swim? did he really bring the best “sign” and “worst” Gin ever? Sat STD x 1 despite parental advice), Richard (a regular attendee who I understand is still looking forward to his first STD once he gets married!), Russell (STD veteran and attendee of the “May reconnaissance swim), Sandra (STD veteran, mother of STD child and CPK co-coordinator, Sat STD x 2?),  Teresa (argued by some, well herself, to be a STD veteran. Legal case pending, Sat STD x multiple but un-supervised), Zoe (mother of STD child veteran and consistently voted “most improved STD”, did you know she ran the London Marathon last year?!! Fri & Sat STD x multiple- we would never have believed it if we weren’t there!).

Roll of honour (present in spirit)

Alice n Hebe (Ballet auditions x 1, street parties x 1, footy games x 2), Chris n Sandra (from Leicester so forgiven), Maya n Taran (studying for exams- yer right), Nan n Dave


“Best” provider of a (know doubt legally bought) sign STD AWARD

I can’t quite make it out what the sign says. Is it something about swimming?


Is it something about a dance/swim class?


Oh no. Its a sign telling you that when you are swimming you need to wave your hands around?


Better get a few more people to help with that then.


Oh dear! We can read it now.


“Best” bride-to-be STD AWARD

STD16 Louise headress (DSCF6120) map
Louise. OK. So we can see the head-dress thing, what about the rest of our outfit?


Its “tradition” for the groom not to see the bride to-be in her dress before the wedding and this must be the reason that this photo taken by Richard (groom to-be) is out of focus………


STD16 Wedding outfit (IMG_0548)
Out of the water Richard continues to look away while the bridesmaid (in the background) regrets forgetting to bring his outfit down to the beach


“Best” and most number of people needed to assist him getting into a wetsuit STD AWARD

STD16 Neil into wetsuit (DSCF6118) map
Neil. I count four people helping, with Christiane and Richard “on standby” if needed.

“Best” dressed bird STD AWARD

(I guess not what some of you old non-PC men might be thinking)

STD16 Horon in wetsuit (Photo0767)


“Best” most casual swimmer (11th year running!) STD AWARD

STD16 Gra n Helen (IMG_1557) map
Graham demonstrate his “back stroke without hands” swimming technique (while Helen tries to catch up with him)


“Best” (and possibly oldest) STD virgin STD AWARD

STD16 Caroline (IMG_1556) map
Caroline is the one in the pink hat if there is any doubt


“Best” (and possibly youngest) STD this year AWARD

STD16 Chloe n Sandra n support (IMG_1561) map
Chloe, second on the right, with her support team. Err that’s not her mother?!


“Best” hand movements under the door STD AWARD

STD16 Jono (IMG_1563) map
Jono. He never knew getting an STD award was so easy


“Best” wave STD AWARD

STD16 CFM (IMG_1550) map
Christiane. “The shame, don’t let my surfing friends see me in this flat sea”


“Best” Daniel Craig impression (2nd year running) and Scottish stereotype STD AWARD

STD16 McDigger HW
Mac Digger. “Come on girls”!!


“Best” Swimming Man doll (different to above) STD AWARD

STD16 Swimming man HW

STD16 Swimming man flying HW


“Best” STD artwork AWARD

STD 2016 Emily Artwork
Drawing by Emily

To see more artwork inspired by STD go here


“Worst” Gin at STD ever AWARD

STD16 Worst Gin ever (IMAG0277)
Provided by Neil. “Probably the worst Gin in the world” according to members of the “we can drink any Gin made anywhere Neil has visited” club.


“Best” Croatian at STD AWARD

STD16 Croatia game (Photo0769)
Natalija might have stolen Croatia from Danny Baker, but Digger and Mickey Mouse are the only true fans. (If you don’t understand this reference a briefing sheet is available on request)


“Best” What goes on in the caravan at STD stays in the caravan at STD AWARD

STD16 Tahira IMG_0546
What, you think this look bad? You have seen nothing yet!


STD16 caravan mickey dress (Photo0768)
For legal reasons, I am unable to comment on this photograph.


STD16 Unknown person (IMG_0557)
For pending court case reasons, I am also unable to comment on this photo


Statement on veteran status

A number of complaints have been received (well only really one from a person who shall not be named- Teresa- oops) suggesting that the assignment of veteran status appears to be out of date and, to say the least, a bit random. As would be expect from a country that prides itself on its legal system it has been decided that a thorough enquiry into the veteran situation should been launched. Based on experience with regard far more serious issues we expect the results/justice to be revealed in well ………….. 27 years time………………..


Don’t forget

  • This is not an organised event
  • This is not an organised event
  • This is not an organised event
  • Its just a bit of fun
  • But should there be any doubt
  • This is not an organised event


(Bathe) In The Water


Take a tip from me

Bathe in the waters

Bathe in the waters of love


Take a tip from me

Bathe in the waters

Bathe in the waters of love


I’m trying hard to find myself a place to rest in this great nation

You’re trying to take the easy way out, make the best of a bad situation


(1993 G.W. McLennan, 12 February 1958 – 6 May 2006)